Wednesday, July 17, 2019

It Won't Always Make Sense



Lately I have been ridiculously grateful for the 20+ years of process art practice I have under my belt. Because seriously? Shit is getting weird and right now, it's not making sense.

If there is one thing I've learned from creating in this way it's that things generally won't turn out as planned - sometimes they'll be infinitely better and sometimes not. But no matter what... with process art, it doesn't matter. Things don't have to make sense or look "right". I create with my intuition. I let my decisions about what comes next arrive from what stirs my heart and soul. 

Naturally, this practice finds its way into my day to day life and I notice I am able to meet things with a tad more grace than I have in the past. Sure, it's not always comfortable but when I can call myself home and can just be present...I know I am okay, as is.

 Paint, images, water and presence - sometimes it's all that's needed for a fresh perspective.







Wednesday, April 10, 2019

My Story Of Being Lazy



There is a story I like to tell myself when things don't seem to be moving as I'd like in my life. I am not sure where or when it started, but it’s been with me for decades - my story of Lazy. Maybe it was created after years of buying into society’s sparkly idea of success – GO. DO. NOW! Or maybe it's something else. Honestly, the origin doesn't matter much anymore. What does matter is that I recognize it when it rolls around and that I meet it with as much awareness and kindness as possible.

As I continue my unfolding I notice that I'm actually not lazy. I am highly sensitive as well as introverted. Oh and my body is working to heal an under active thyroid. Because of this, I need lots of time to regenerate especially if I have been around lots of people. And as I continue to take the time to listen to my body, I find there are certain things I just can’t do well anymore like chase shiny things or pretend to be someone I’m not - especially the pretending.

 And I'm not gonna lie, I do have to continue to remind myself that there is nothing wrong with me, because sometimes when I look out into the world and the majority of society is functioning much differently, I can feel like I am not contributing or that I am failing in some way.

Here's what I'm learning... the less I listen to outside opinions and voices about who I “should” be, the more I get to truly know myself, like myself... and others (bonus!). And not just my body and this personality, my true essence. I realize it all works in tandem. This vessel is here for me to help navigate the world and I love her. Part of my spiritual journey this time around is to embrace my body and realize she is not something to fight or ignore, but to honor.

This time around I am working on embodiment and on actually listening to my sacred form when she tells me she’s had enough by feeling foggy, full or exhausted. And to respect her wisdom. I no longer want to override how I am feeling just to put someone else at ease or to feel accepted. I will no longer feel ashamed that I am built this way or compare myself to someone who is built in an entirely different way. 

** Image Notes: I love to collage images into my altered books. Lately, I can't get enough of the delightful images found in  A Book That Takes Its Time  from Flow Magazine.
As an artist, I feel compelled to give credit where credit is due....and I like to make sure that I have altered the images just enough to give them my own spin on things.


Thursday, February 28, 2019

Creating More Space In My Life





As someone who has been living with chronic pain and fatigue for over 8 years now, I have to constantly remind myself that these things do not define me. I can feel like "death warmed over" and still hold my fire and bring my light, in every moment.

My art reminds me that I can hold more than one thing at a time and that pain and fatigue aren't the only things occurring. My art also gives me permission to feel how I feel when I feel it. So yeah, I can paint death warmed over one day and by the next, fire and light. 

That is the magic of process art. I don't have to know where I am going with it. I don't have to create a beautiful masterpiece for someone to hang on their wall. I just move as I am authentically led, from the inside out and in stillness, the rest happens naturally creating more space in my life for new things to arrive.






Stephanie Gray is a writer, artist, process arts facilitator and creative self–discoverist.

Her main focus is working with people as they make their way through life transitions - trauma, grief and spiritual awakening - by providing suggestions on how to stay connected to self during shifting times. Stephanie combines art making, creative writing, active listening, heart-based questioning and over 20 years of her own self-discovery practice to assist individuals in living a more authentic life, cultivating awareness of their sacred selves.

Stephanie facilitates creative self-discovery in person from her home  -  Inside Out Studio - and online with folks all over the globe (The Walkabout and HeART Journaling).Stephanie is co-founder of Creative Nectar Studio

Tuesday, February 5, 2019

I Have No Idea What's Going On



The more I can go with the flow of what is occurring in my life, the less I "know" what's going on or happening next or even what needs to be done until... I am right there, in the moment. 

It's been weird not writing copious To Do lists, as I've done in the past. There's definitely more of a chaotic feel to things leaving so much to "chance". But there's also this deliciousness in not knowing (because really, what did I truly know anyway?) It feels like there is room in between the cracks, allowing for some magic to seep in.

Don't get me wrong. I am not in a place where I'm living entirely like this day in and day out. However moments of this sublime freedom do seem to come along with more frequency.

I have no idea what the hell is going on....and I kinda like it!



Stephanie Gray is a writer, artist, process arts facilitator and creative self–discoverist.

Her main focus is working with people as they make their way through life transitions by providing suggestions on how to stay connected to self during shifting times. Stephanie combines art making, creative writing, active listening, heart-based questioning and over 20 years of her own self-discovery practice to assist individuals in living a more authentic life, cultivating awareness of their sacred selves.

Stephanie facilitates creative self-discovery in person from her home  -  Inside Out Studio - and online with folks all over the globe (The Walkabout and HeART Journaling).Stephanie is co-founder of Creative Nectar Studio