Letting Go of Trying

I worked on this page in my altered book a few weeks before meeting with NK

For my birthday last month, I was gifted a 2 hour Zoom session with Neil Kramer....oh man, delightful! 

Among other things, I asked him for help figuring out what on earth I was supposed to be doing to earn money and support myself while staying true to my authentic self. He chuckled and said basically to continue getting to know myself in the most unrestricted of ways and things would find their way to me and that when we restrict ourselves, it stops the flow. When we uncover our true essence, it acts as a magnet and all that is right for that moment will be drawn to us. In a nutshell, keep doing me and the rest will follow.

Well, as you might imagine this was a monumental relief....and scary as hell. I am the one who likes to make lists and goals and polish my perfection. How on earth can I get somewhere if I don't know where I am going first? I mean, don't I need a map? Shouldn't I "google" it to find out what to expect? And holy shit, what will people think if I am just living my life to know my authentic self?

It is becoming clear to me how I have abdicated myself and my internal power over to others....my entire life. It's not my job to be a martyr for anyone or anything. It may have been how I was raised...but the buck stops here. No more.

Just do me. Huh....what a concept. And although it may sound arrogant and selfish...it's not. It's actually the biggest thing I can do for myself and for the planet (as above so below). I clean up my insides and polish my lamp's light and I can walk about as a movable feast of love. I can genuinely be of service in every moment because I truly love and care for myself. I can go with the flow.

Stephanie Gray is a writer, artist, process arts facilitator and creative self–discoverist.

Her main focus is working with people as they make their way through life transitions by providing suggestions on how to stay connected to self during shifting times. Stephanie combines art making, creative writing, active listening, heart-based questioning and over 20 years of her own self-discovery practice to assist individuals in living a more authentic life, cultivating awareness of their sacred selves.

Stephanie offers 1x1 sessions via Zoom.

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