Allow The Magic
My husband is all about rock from the 70's and 80's so when he decided to watch a 2016 concert of Tommy Shaw and The Contemporary Youth Orchestra, I wasn't surprised. However, I was surprised at my aversion to it. I noticed myself running excuses in my mind of why I didn't want to watch it -"This is so low res, maybe I will get up and clean the kitchen. This is so cheesy there's no way it could be good. He's getting too old to sing well. There is no way I am going to sit through this."
I noticed myself doing things on my phone so I wouldn't have to watch or listen. I wasn't aware of it yet, but my ego was protecting me from intense feelings.
THANK God the distractions didn't work. I gave in and allowed myself to become fully engaged AND was immediately overwhelmed with emotion. Tears were flowing, I was laughing and getting into the lyrics, the musical arrangements and the kids. Most importantly, the little 8 year old girl inside of me, who LOVED Styx and listened to Crystal Ball on repeat for an entire summer, was thrilled!
...I mean, honestly, it was magic. ANYTHING that breaks my heart wide open like that is magic and wow did I try to resist it. I have been resisting all of my life. I have been "protecting myself" from feeling ALL of my life.
In 2023, one of my intentions has been to live more from the heart. WELL.....the opportunities are all over, they just haven't looked the way I thought they would. Maybe tuning into what I am resisting will be the way through. If I am resisting....that must be a nudge to move in closer for a clue to what happens next. My new year's resolution for 2024? Allow the Magic. Resist less. Lean in more. Love and feel and let my heart break open - again and again.
Allow the magic my friends. Happy New Year!