If I had a dollar every time the word TRUST came up in my art and writing. I'd be a rich woman. Working creatively - not for product but for the process that occurs - allows me access to a rich knowing that exists within. And for this I am grateful because I need to be constantly reminded to trust the body I inhabit. And that it's okay to get frustrated sometimes, but ultimately she is serving a purpose - stillness.
Living with a chronic illness for several years has been hard for me to accept. I have so much I'd like to do and often times feel burning with light and intention inside only to be kept down by a body wracked with fatigue, pain, anxiety and the weirdest of symptoms.
This past week has been particularly hard. I cannot describe how it feels to be healing emotionally and spiritually and not have my body following along. So many of the books I've read and the podcasts I've listened to have told me that if you look within, and begin to heal, transmute and integrate your shadow, the body healing will follow. But what if that's not always the case?
What if, this is exactly how it's supposed to be right now? What if stillness, art and contemplation are exactly what I need in my life and railing against it only makes things worse? I can still bring my light and intention, even in a compromised body. I know this does not diminish my power. It just looks differently than the popular model (I am doing it now as I type). I know and feel this. I just need reminding sometimes.