If you've read some of my past blog posts or have taken any of the classes offered at Inside Out Studio, you know I believe we are living in a time of great transformation and that many of us are being called to to uncover some of our biggest and deepest wounds in order to transmute them - myself included.
For the past year I have been working on transmuting my deepest wound this time around - the primal wound of adoption. It has taken me 50 years to recognize how the separation from my mother at the time of my birth was a trauma. A trauma that has helped to unconsciously steer much of how I've responded (or not responded) to people, places and things in my life.
The healing and transmutation of this event is happening and the proof of what can unfold in my life when I do is apparent. As I began to work with this in the studio within a few months, I met my birth mother and father. I know in my heart that by beginning to scratch at the surface of this wound, these key players were magnetized to me so a healing could occur.
This past week while working in my altered book, words began to form. Below is what came out (un-edited):
"My wound is sacred. Seriously. My deep dark shameful black hole of a wound is sacred. Possibly one of the most sacred parts of myself this time around - but probably at any time around. It gives me strength and has nudged me towards who I really am and begged me to ask the bigger questions. My wound has had me on my knees and opened my weepy heart giving me a deep sense of presence and an authentic love for myself - and a compassion for others. It has been my guide and companion and it continues to ask me to love, even when it's hurting the most."
The sacred alchemy of this work boils down to this realization: My wound doesn't exist to define me, it exists to empower me.
Stephanie Gray is a writer, artist, process arts facilitator and creative self–discoverist.Her main focus is working with people as they make their way through life transitions - trauma, grief and spiritual awakening - by providing suggestions on how to stay connected to self during shifting times. Stephanie combines art making, creative writing, active listening, heart-based questioning and over 20 years of her own self-discovery practice to assist individuals in living a more authentic life, cultivating awareness of their sacred selves.