Wednesday, April 10, 2019

My Story Of Being Lazy



There is a story I like to tell myself when things don't seem to be moving as I'd like in my life. I am not sure where or when it started, but it’s been with me for decades - my story of Lazy. Maybe it was created after years of buying into society’s sparkly idea of success – GO. DO. NOW! Or maybe it's something else. Honestly, the origin doesn't matter much anymore. What does matter is that I recognize it when it rolls around and that I meet it with as much awareness and kindness as possible.

As I continue my unfolding I notice that I'm actually not lazy. I am highly sensitive as well as introverted. Oh and my body is working to heal an under active thyroid. Because of this, I need lots of time to regenerate especially if I have been around lots of people. And as I continue to take the time to listen to my body, I find there are certain things I just can’t do well anymore like chase shiny things or pretend to be someone I’m not - especially the pretending.

 And I'm not gonna lie, I do have to continue to remind myself that there is nothing wrong with me, because sometimes when I look out into the world and the majority of society is functioning much differently, I can feel like I am not contributing or that I am failing in some way.

Here's what I'm learning... the less I listen to outside opinions and voices about who I “should” be, the more I get to truly know myself, like myself... and others (bonus!). And not just my body and this personality, my true essence. I realize it all works in tandem. This vessel is here for me to help navigate the world and I love her. Part of my spiritual journey this time around is to embrace my body and realize she is not something to fight or ignore, but to honor.

This time around I am working on embodiment and on actually listening to my sacred form when she tells me she’s had enough by feeling foggy, full or exhausted. And to respect her wisdom. I no longer want to override how I am feeling just to put someone else at ease or to feel accepted. I will no longer feel ashamed that I am built this way or compare myself to someone who is built in an entirely different way. 

** Image Notes: I love to collage images into my altered books. Lately, I can't get enough of the delightful images found in  A Book That Takes Its Time  from Flow Magazine.
As an artist, I feel compelled to give credit where credit is due....and I like to make sure that I have altered the images just enough to give them my own spin on things.


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