Skip to main content

Sacred Freak-Outs

Freak Out #1

I would be an absolute poser-fraud if I didn't share that I've been dealing with some pretty crazy anxiety lately. It's not constant and it's not debilitating, but it has knocked me off my tracks a couple of times this month.

It's unusual for me to feel so uprooted. The first time it happened, after the dust had settled, I began trying to "figure it out" composing a mental list of things that could have caused such a complete upheaval.

What showed up on my list had much to do with this material life -the world in general, scarcity, treading in unfamiliar territory, the future, body pain - and about feeling out of control. Really, it could have been almost anything. Thankfully, I had some studio time scheduled with others the next day and we worked in our altered books. The anxiety dissipated. 

 The second time, I skipped the mental list altogether and just rode it out. I didn't have to know why. I felt it, and as uncomfortable as it was, I got curious about it, and - at the risk of repeating myself here - worked in my altered book. 

Freak Out #2

Full disclosure.... There was a point this month when I questioned why it is I continue to do this work. (Clearly, I hadn't  figured anything out for myself. In terms of situating my life so I didn't have to feel certain ways and go places I didn't want to, NOTHING had changed. I still had a racing, worry-wort monkey mind and the same types of problems continually bubbled up to the surface for me to look at.)

After working in the studio yesterday, I was able to remind myself that this work has nothing to do with fixing or silencing anything. It's about cultivating the ability to call myself back home in unstable times, creating a space for self-compassion and love. 

And then I wrote this in my journal: This work is about learning to recognize our own voice that calls to us in a language only we recognize - a sacred cry - burning to be discovered and put to use.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Internal Guidance - Feeling Into The New Paradigm

  I feel like I’ve just finished a very intense and in depth master class. If the course had a title it would probably be something like, “Adapting To The New Paradigm - Reading Your Energy To Know What’s Working” .  It’s been a totally immersive, 8 week lesson that started with looking at how much money my husband and I have and allowing the number to freak us the fuck out. So much so, that the only alternative we felt we had was to sell our home. The minute we decided this, it felt unbelievably sad and we both experienced a huge amount of grief around the idea of letting this “family member” go.  After we worked through the grief, we set about engaging in a string of contract signing with several companies and individuals who wanted to buy our house. It was excruciating and confusing to watch each deal that we'd make, magically dissolve into big piles of steamy horse excrement. All the while, each step we took was bizarrely out of sync with our normal way of being in the world. O

Hello and Welcome

Hello and welcome!  I am an intuitive artist, writer and creative transformation guide and have spent almost 3 decades practicing process art . Along the way I gathered creative tools that helped me to remain grounded and centered through some of the toughest transitions of my life. As an added bonus these tools began to connect me to my light and surprisingly - interstellar/interdimensional beings.  I feel strongly that we are in the beginning stages of a planetary evolution of consciousness and that  many of us   are experiencing or will begin to know quite simply, that we are way more powerful than we've been led to believe.   I am here to support this awakening and evolution  by  making art infused with light  as well as using it as a way to  connect with Interdimensional beings . Also by using my process art background and the creative process to  guide others to connect to their own light, truest self  and interdimensional guides. It's also important for me to create  saf

Redbubble Shop

I've just opened a Redbubble shop! This has been something I resisted for a LONG time. But now it feels like this is just what happens next.  It feels scary and vulnerable and totally right. A few of the designs are what I would consider channeled in that I didn't have much of a hand it what came out and also, they because they are infused with light, which is totally new for me. And there are some images from my altered books that were all about expressing what I was feeling in the moment.  I would love it if you took a few minutes to check it out!