Thursday, January 21, 2016

Reciprocity And The Permission To Let Go


reciprocity
: a situation or relationship in which two people or groups agree to do something similar for each other, to allow each other to have the same rights, etc. : a reciprocal arrangement or relationship

Things have been asking to change in my life for awhile. As a result I now find it nearly impossible to show up for anything where I carry most of the energy. The over-efforting it takes to keep things alive leaves me tired and run down and I'm done. If you are in my life and are not holding up your end of things, our relationship will be changing. Please know this does not mean I love you less, it means I have to start loving me more.

This turn of events will be applied across the board - work, family, friends, old habits - it all has to change.  As of this very moment I will only be offering up as much as I am given. Reciprocity. The thought of not having to work so hard feels delicious in my body. The idea that I can do this and it doesn't mean I am giving up, allows my shoulders relief. I give myself permission to let go. (Insert smile here).


I am letting go:

If you say you will get back with me and don't - no worries. However, please do not expect me to chase you down.

If I send you a text message and it consistently takes you over a week to respond...I will no longer initiate contact.

If I send you an email asking for a response and receive nothing, I will have to assume events we've started together are no longer important to you and I will move on. (This also includes initiation of contact - I will no longer keep a ball rolling all on my own. If you are interested in what's happening in my life or have expressed interest in working together, please reach out.)

If there is something I am offering in my work and I've kept it going with little to no response, it's gone. Time to start something fresh.

I will also be asking myself  some tough questions and notice where I'm not showing up in my own life. How have I been absent to those who continue to show up for me? Where is it I drop the ball? When do I play hide and seek with myself?

The realization that I can live my life like this is exciting and scary. I know some people, things and ways of being will begin to fall away and I feel a little sad. However continuing to live in this way just doesn't work anymore and I am curious to see where this letting go will take me.

2 comments:

sach dharm said...

Wow, you never cease to amaze me with your absolute authentic truth. I have kept my part up for so many people in my life that I too am learning it is a two way street that has to see traffic coming both direction to make it worth my time and effort to be along for the ride. Thank you for affirming my feelings with such love and grace as you do and always do. Keep on sister keep on.. Your light shines brightly so we can all see what lies ahead if we just pay attention to the signs.
light of love and divine grace,
karen

stephanie said...

Thanks Karen!

The two way street is necessary and can be tricky to learn if you've been taught that loving "unconditionally" is the true and right way to do things, ESPECIALLY on the spiritual path. And if we've been raised to be a good girl (at all costs - Sacrifice Self) this makes boundary setting hard.

All too easily I've been quick to loosen my boundaries or forgive something because I didn't want to hurt someone or let them down OR LOOK LESS spiritual. It's only been since I've acknowledged the yucky stuff(anger is a big one for me) that I've been able to forgive some of the harder things, shore up my boundaries and implement true self care.

Sending Much Love Your Way!