It's been a revealing few weeks of painting for me in the studio. Creating in that deep yet playful space of not knowing, nudges me to lean in closer to the images and words that show up in my paintings.
Radical self acceptance using the tool of creativity is something I have been cultivating for a long time and I am beginning to love every part of myself. It's not always easy because that means finding space in my heart for the misfit parts I feel don't work with what today's society has deemed acceptable and normal.
Sometimes while painting, words will show up and last week the words, "Give up NOW" appeared. Wow! I was blown away by yet another intrusion from my shadow self who is notorious for throwing a wrench in things when I am on the verge of new growth. As I continued to paint, ignoring the words that couldn't be ignored, I new it was time to write a bit in my journal. Here's what came out:
"Give up. Give up NOW.....the urge to fight who you are, to control. Give up the need to know or be right. Give up the dream so that something bigger has room to show up. Give up the fear. It's okay to do things exactly as you do them. You are finding your way."
Moments like this make it easier to stick with the hard stuff. This process is rich in information and slowly reveals the layers of who I am, carrying me along a path that's all mine. I am finding my own way.